So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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