Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
