We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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