from now on my penis is your penis
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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