3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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