So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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