Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.

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(212): View more from New York

You feel like going out tonight?

(1-212): View more from New York

Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle

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(847): View more from Illinois

So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila

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(614): View more from Ohio

yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

and what did he say?

(614): View more from Ohio

there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"

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(425): View more from Washington

My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.

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