she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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