how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
