Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
