This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
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I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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