I'm sorry my penis didn't work
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He did a backflip because drugs
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
