is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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