she looked like the bat from fern gully.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
