are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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