do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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