Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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