I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
