ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize