Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just found puke in my bra..
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
