I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
