Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just want nice things and good sex
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
