FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i've created a new STD.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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