What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize