STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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