Fuck appropriateness.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
