hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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