oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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