I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
