"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
