69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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