I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
