Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize