1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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