sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize