just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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