apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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