I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
