So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
