dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Can I color on your dick again?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
