Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
