you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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