she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
