they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
