Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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