"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
