if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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