No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
