That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
