belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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