I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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