I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
