He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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