for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
