I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
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his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
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listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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