so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
