Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize