Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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