Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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