the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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