i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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