Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
