I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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