Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
we're so committed to being not committed
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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