She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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