is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
