It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
