I need help removing her.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
