So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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