I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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