Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize